My Third Nipple

This is a photograph of one's nipple.
This is a photograph of one's third nipple. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can’t claim credit for that. Really. I want to, but obiwannabe is the guilty party. Go check out his blog and remember to inundate his comment section when he asks you to. I dare you.

What is it that grips a completely normal person and turns them into a hideous recluse spouting at imaginary people who run around slicing off Kings’ heads and spearing babes?

Well, it’s their third nipple, of course.

You see, some of us are born with an extra one. As obiwannabe explains, it is normally not talked about in polite conversation so many of us who have one are not even aware we got an extra nipple running around on our torso, even though we’ve had them all our lives.

I found mine last week. It peeked out at me from under my armpit.

I said to it, “What are you doing there, Third Nipple? I say! Can’t a girl take a shower without you going off the deep end? Get back where you belong and behave yourself!”

But it didn’t go back to hide between my shoulder blades. Instead, it hunkered down, puckered, and squirted milk in my eye.

Then it made me go write.

So tell me, what’s your third nipple making you do?

By the way, if you don’t end up clicking through to Spell/Sword, the connection is that unpublished novels, or WiPs (works in progress), are like third nipples.

More common than you think, unpleasant, and not something to be shared in polite company.  -obiwannabe

I’m not polite company. Go ahead, tell the worst thing your “nipple” made you do.


12 thoughts on “My Third Nipple

  1. Back in the days of my yute, an instructor provided the following wisdom: If you have one testicle, see a doctor. If you have two, you’re normal. If you have three, join the circus.
    I wonder if this wisdom applies to nipples. I also wonder how you got your head around low enough to be squirted by your third nipple? That is some amazing flexibility, maybe even circus quality.

    1. I have a short neck and torso. But, true, it appears I have missed my calling. I should have been a circus freak. You should read Pickers and Pickled Punks.

  2. Shees, I have gone years and years without ever thinking about third nipples. Now I am positive this is going to show up in my dreams.

    (i thought it was funny)

  3. I have heard of enough characters with three testicles and a few with the third nipple (Krusty the Clown), but it still gives me the heebee jeebees. That is just me however. I have enough trouble with the normal two of each.

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