I am not a twat

Yesterday, I posted about the Writer’s Digest pass give away for the San Francisco’s Writers Conference that is coming up next week.

In order to qualify for the give away, one simply had to post about it at least two times on social networks. A blog is an acceptable social network. As is Twitter and Facebook. And that’s pretty much it.

They did mention if you didn’t have access to those social networks you could get your friends to Tweet or post to Facebook, and that would count.

But, I noticed that they conspicuously left out Google+, and any other social network I am not aware of. Is this the forefront of the battle for our precious internet time? Am I destined to be an outcast and unqualify myself for a free give away because I, egad, do not Tweet or plaster my personal shit on Facebook?

Frankly, if that is the case, so be it. If because I do not subscribe to those social networks I am unable to take part in some events, that’s okay. I’ll, surprisingly, survive. My life will be a dull, boring landscape without them, but, hell, it will be quiet and sane.

Because folks, there is such a thing as too much information.

I’ve tried Facebook. I used my pen name and not my real name, so technically, I had very few friends on that network. They were mostly class mates from a writing class I took. And while we had conversed like adults during the class, once I joined Facebook, I soon understood their true nature. Virtual cups of coffee were passed around for no clear reason. As were buttons and other nonsense that had nothing to do with…reality. Posts about their children galore. And then all the cat-fights…

The problem was…(confession time)…I liked it.

I got WAY into it. And I found myself reading endless posts about other people’s lives until one day I found myself reading about a hamster’s untimely death. And crying about it.

I quit when I realized that if I wanted to keep my life, I had to give up everyone else’s.

I’ve looked at Twitter and contemplated getting an account, but with all due respect folks, I do not like you that much. I don’t need to know when you are going to the dry cleaners. Nor what you had for dinner. But here’s the real reason I won’t get a Twitter account:

I can be a bit of a twat.

Yes, I know what that means. Funny (not) how a word that refers to a woman’s genitalia can also mean a foolish person…

Anyway, if I had a Twitter account any person stupid enough to follow me would get a stream that looked something like this:

  • gorgeous sunrise! gonna be a great day!
  • ug, dog just launched himself through a barbed-wire fence
  • blood everywhere
  • quick breakfast: scrabbled tofu with fake sausages…maybe I eat too much soy bean
  • bike ride started out great! riding to work rocks!
  • got a flat after visiting the troll
  • honey bunny picked me up! made it to work on time
  • spent lunch getting tire fixed – $45 for a new tire!
  • they did a good job
  • go to Trek Bicycle Store in SR – they rock!
  • clouds coming in
  • oh, time to submit my story to fantasy faction
  • check out Fantasy-Faction.com – they rock!
  • homeless people getting to bed early on the bike path, expecting rain later
  • re-heat pumpkin curry for dinner, sooooo good
  • dog loves pumpkin, drooling on carpet again
  • saw the owls again tonight on evening walk – they rock!

You see? It would turn into a never-ending play-by-play of my life. Since I am not Madonna or Lady Gaga, somehow I doubt anyone would want to follow my twittered twats.

So, that’s my excuse for being a recluse. If you want to catch up with what I’m doing, sign up here or follow my Google+ page (N. E. White).

Write on.

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6 thoughts on “I am not a twat

  1. I decided to make facebook work for me. I have always had fewer than 100 friends and have no qualms about removing people if I never receive anything from them. I use it to “like” pages to get information from. The NSS posted news articles, I get Brian Cox’s twitter feeds on there so news about his upcoming tv appearances, books etc, updates and football commentary. Basically, pages that will give me useful content that I might want to read or blog about.

    You use Google+? That must be a lonely existence

    1. Ha! Yes, it is a bit lonely. But I like it that way. Less for me to have to go through. I may be forced in the end to use Facebook and Twitter, but for right now…I’m holding out! 🙂

      1. I’m on facebook, twitter and google+ myself. I just generally don’t spend a lot of time on any of them, unless I have a specific reason.

        Facebook I mostly use like procrastom8or and as a way to keep in touch with old friends that I don’t really converse much with but I missed having some contact with (HS, JrHS)

        twitter can be enjoyable and it can kinda suck me in some times.

        google+ was really dangerous to my time management back in Nov.

        The key is to the networks is careful use and not to just waste time.

  2. I think you are absolutely right, Laith. No matter the network. And I think the reason why I don’t mind Google+ is that my network is very small at the moment. So, I imagine that at some point I’ll join both, but will have to learn to be an adult on all. 🙂

  3. thanks for your irony, writing:”My life will be a dull, boring landscape without them, but, hell, it will be quiet and sane…”
    frizz comment: I left facebook, myspace, amazon (was a top ten book review writer in Germany) – and I am glad about that. Quality, not quantity, that should be the rule …

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