Walk away

Ben & Jerry's at Universal CityWalk Hollywood.
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For weeks, I’ve avoided doing my weekly Critters critique.  I couldn’t figure out why, other than I’m busy with other stuff.  But I finally got to it tonight and as I read the short story I picked to tear apart, reality stepped on my toes, demanding I realize:

No, dear, you will never write that well.

I wrote my critique that wasn’t really a critique and ate some ice cream (I’m lactose intolerant).

I then went to a random WordPress site and there, right there, another great writer.  I got up, went to the refrig and ate a huge slice of my husband’s butter-cream, custard layered birthday cake (yeah, I technically can’t have that either).

I went to an agent’s blog I frequent because he always writes something inspiring and helpful, but today he had a guest blog post – wonderfully written.  I contemplated going down to the local Ben and Jerry’s shop.

It’s not that I begrudge the fact that there are wonderful writers out there.  I love to read a book, short story or article that grabs my attention and leaves me emotionally charged or pondering life’s mysteries.  No, the problem is that as I read, I mentally size up my writing skills to whomever I am reading and the plain truth is…I’m not that good.

Well, yeah, you can understand what I’m writing and you might even laugh at something I wrote that was intentionally meant to make you laugh.  But, really, on the grand scheme of things?  I’m not that good.

To top if off, as I re-read parts of my WIP, it dawns on me that the story is boring.  There’s not much going on.  Andreas goes from point A to point B.  Stuff happens, but not really a lot of stuff and nothing exciting.  No huge sword fights.  No chase scenes.  No gruesome deaths.  Not even a good sex scene.  It’s all random stuff that doesn’t really make all that much sense.

So, what to do?  I’m about half way through my novel effort.  I’ve spent about a year on it.  Should I abandon it?  Just walk away?  Save what dignity I have left and burn the thing?  (Okay, delete the thing, but burning it sounds like a lot more fun.)

(huge sigh)

The hell with my bowels, where are my car keys…


4 thoughts on “Walk away

    1. Hey Scorp! Was just thinking about you and your young, evil king (the only bit of your novel I got to read). We all must be psychic.

      I really want to quit just so I can go back to being a normal human being, but I’ve also invested so much time that it would be stupid to quit now. Someone should have stopped me way back when I started.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

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